Out

Out
Out into the unknown
My God, what changes
Are being wrought within me?
Where is my destination?
Who knows what will befall me?

Afraid
Afraid of being afraid
Afraid of speaking out
Afraid of being too loud for the world

Move
Move in the stillness
Have to keep moving
Never to rest
All the bones in motion
After a lifetime of stasis
The backbone wakes up and says:
Move

Sound
Sound waiting in the throat
A cry, a scream, waiting
For its revealing
Forever hunting
For its own echo
But there will be no echo
If no sound is made

Frozen
Frozen in the brain hole
Keeping the scramble in place
Trying not to move it
For fear of what happens 
When it comes
A storm that shows now sign of dying
Jupiter’s Great Red Spot
Whirling around in my brain 
Always a storm
Of Ferocious intensity
Whirling and turning back on itself
Never to be blown out

Fear
A whirling, dancing, diving
Drinking, static bundle of fear
A fear of fear itself
A fear so large that
There is only fear out to the boundaries
A flat earth surrounded
By Invisible terrors
Terrors that are indeed invisible
And only exist on the edge of perception
A thousand words left to speak
All in the hope
Of calming the fear

Calm
A calm that sits
Under the stars, unblinking
Someone else’s calm?
Something I wait for permission
To feel and connect with?
All these other lives
Moving placidly by 
Whilst I dive back
Into Jupiter’s Great Red Spot